omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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