My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i love accidental penises.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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