is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
