and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
