I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize