there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
