I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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