we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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