like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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