Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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