If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
