what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
