I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
