So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i dont even know how to be here
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
