when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
