I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
there was a trapeze. enough said
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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