The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
