Buhtt sex?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
