Her vagina should come with caution tape.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
