but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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