I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize