Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You ate ashes out of my bong
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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