the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
