Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
