theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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