were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
