the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
