I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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