Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
