When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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