Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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