I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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