DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize