I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I need water and some morals
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
