she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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