Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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