when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
