You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
