it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
