I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
