i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
