i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
