FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
