just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
