singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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