You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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