who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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