He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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