It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
