Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
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I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
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Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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