Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
