my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
