Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
