My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i wish my penis had a tongue
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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