why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
