i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
